oh hello - it's been awhile

Original Weight 320lbs
Lowest Weight 210
Current Weight 228 (frowny face)

Wow, I haven't blogged here since February. And in February I was talking about how I wasn't doing well.  AND I'm still not doing well. My lowest was around 215 (I did get to 210 for a minute) and now I am back up to 228...No Bueno.

I have a ton of excuses -- working nights (boy that does a number on your metabolism!), going to school, helping my husband with the social media part of his business, taking kids to their sports  events and practices -- ugh. But really they are all excuses. And I need to get over myself

Today I started a running program from Runner's World it's a lot like C25K but easier to do. I did about 8.5 minutes of running (okay, jogging) and 45 minutes of walking. I picked the hottest day of the year, during the hottest part of the day and thought I was.going.to.die. As a matter of fact I'm currently lying on the couch, computer on the floor, typing with one finger, trying not to smell myself -- it's not a pretty sight.

But I started.

Healthier Version of Shepherd's Pie

For the month of February we have decided to do a no spend month -- where we try not to spend any extra money on non essential items -- I'm blogging about it here on my other blog -- I thought though I'd include this lower calorie healthier version of shepherd's pie because it's relevant for both my blogs and I just got to cut and paste and feel all accomplished that I updated both blogs in one day (insert smiley face)

Jason's been in the mood for some comfort food and he specifically asked for Shepherd's pie. But Shepherd's pie isn't really on the super healthy side of things and so I tried to come up with a healthier yet yummy version....and I did. And now I'm going to share it with you.

 Potato topping was a combo of cauliflower and potatoes, instead of whipping cream, butter, cheese, whatever, I used fat free greek yogurt

 Lots of sauteed vegetables

 Combination of lean beef and turkey

 and I used vegetable broth to deglaze the pan and tomato sauce and worcestershire sauce for flavoring (and some pepper and parsley)

 One for us, one to give a way and one for the freezer

  And dinner was a hit for everyone...even hubby, who didn't look very convinced when I was putting it all together.

The Recipe:

3 pounds 93%/ lean ground beef

1 pound 93% lean ground turkey

1 cup of chopped up carrots

1 cup of chopped up celery

2 cups chopped up mushrooms (Isaac didn't even know they were in there)

1-2 tablespoons of garlic

1 package of frozen peas

1/4 cup of worcestershire sauce

1 15 oz can of tomato sauce

2 cups of vegetable broth

3 pounds of potatoes

1 head of cauliflower

1 cup of fat free Fage greek yogurt

pepper and parsley to taste (I didn't add salt because of the worcestershire sauce and vegetable broth)

boil potatoes w/ skin and steam cauliflower, whip with yogurt and set aside.

while boiling and steaming, saute vegetables

set aside

brown mean

mix with vegetables

deglaze pan with vegetable broth and pour into meat mixture

add peas, tomato sauce, pepper & worcestershire sauce

Divide evenly between 3 8x8 pans and top with potato mixture

sprinkle pepper and parsley on top

freeze two and bake one at 350, covered for 45 minutes and uncovered for 5 minutes.

ENJOY

each 8x8 serves 10

calories 162, fat 4.5, carbohydrates 15, protein 15, sodium 247, fiber 2g

Wednesday Weigh In

Original Weight: 320
Last Week's Weight: 220 (ugh)
Lowest Weight: 207
Today's Weight: 216

Total down: 104 (sort of yay)
Down from last week: 4 (yay)
Up from lowest: 9 (not so yay)

I'm slowly getting back to the basics. Choosing high protein items, trying not to snack/graze between meals. Each day I'm doing better at this. Not completely on target, but getting closer than I was.

AND today is day 4 sans sugar.

AND my family is still intact.

On Monday I went snowmobiling with the family. It's the first time I've gone since I've lost weight and it was a much different than before --

 I wasn't terrified of getting all the way up there only to find out they didn't have a suit big enough for me.

I wasn't terrified that they had a weight limit and I would get up there only to find out I couldn't ride.

I was sure that my child would fit behind me on the snowmobile.

It was good to feel these things (none of these things ever happened, I was just afraid it would have happened).

Here are some pictures -- let's just say, no one looks good in these snow suits.

suiting up --

 joy (sarcasm) -- and in case you didn't know what size suit I was in, it's right there, x-tra large, short

 It was a beautiful day in Colorado on Monday, sunny and crisp

 Jake tried out driving in the meadow a bit

 Post mobiling popcorn

Jake, sigh, on his phone....well at least we got him engaged and laughing when we went out to eat afterwards.

Okay, done playing on my blog and reading yours for a bit, I have to get down to it and write a paper. Tell me again why I thought going back to school was a good idea? And if I EVER decide to get my PhD, please feel free to do an intervention.

snicker

So feeling a bit better. I'm not usually such a debbie-downer, but I think this time around was a pre-cold mini-depression.  I also found out that my A1C (diabetic marker) was borderline at 5.9 (which equates to an average of 135 blood sugars)and my serum vitamin D was low -- all three contributing to being logy. Of course -- my cold symptoms do go away when I sleep so I'm kicking around the idea that I may be allergic to being awake.

I spent all day yesterday NOT eating sugar. This was really really hard. I didn't do so well with other refined carbs (Broncos vs Pats -- the fact I wasn't stress eating chocolate is a major accomplishment -- husband's family from Boston, we currently live and I grew up in Denver -- do the math). So although not stellar, better than I've been doing and I'm taking it one day at a time.

Today we're spending time as a family - much to the dismay of the 14 year old who made an impassioned argument about the importance of peer relationships over a three day weekend. We're going snowmobiling (seriously, the 14 year old would rather hang out texting his friends who are inches away than go snowmobiling? I have failed as a mother). The good news is it's really hard to eat while maneuvering a snowmobile with an 11 year old clinging to your back yelling, "Faster mom, keep up with dad"

well dad has a freakin' death wish, so no, I won't be keeping up with dad.

sorry kiddo.

so today I should be able to keep my food in check and get some physical activity.

If we live, I will post pictures later

Have a great day all.

ugh!

struggling...

I've gained even more weight. Was dismayed to see the scale creep (ok really freaking JUMP) up to 220...I'd been making steady progress down and whoosh.

My body betrays me in this one area.

My mind betrays me as well -- grazing, unthinkingly popping food into my mouth, not being continually present with my food choices.

It gets me down.

(frowny face)

I wonder if it's my wonky schedule.
Working nights is not good for our bodies
for our souls

my off time is spent carting kids around, trying to be the mom I need to be for them, being supportive, making sure they feel loved, making sure their bodies and souls are being fed -- in appropriate and loving holistic ways. Trying to be a loving wife (sex? what's that, who has time and when we do, our schedules are different)

my off time is spent trying to keep the house clean (total fail there, but not feeling horribly bad about that - there are more important things in life - am I right?  no one's died of some incurable bacterial infection -- yet). But I do like the order that comes with a clean organized house.

my off time is spent furthering my education so I can ultimately reach my goal of teaching nursing.  I know the night shift thing is temporary and a means to an end to reach my goal of teaching as is taking this time to make school work within my hectic schedule.

Even though I am doing this all for a particular goal, it still is so hard at times.

I'm completely overwhelmed.

so, ugh.

Man Loses Weight at McDonald's -- I am conflicted

So years ago I watched the documentary Super Size Me, where a physically fit guy, who I believe was actually a vegetarian, ate at McDonald's for a month, and if the people there offered to super size the meal he would do it. He gained a lot of weight, developed a non-alcoholic fatty-liver and felt miserable.

This makes sense, because McDonald's, although I admit is freakin' delicious in a guilt-ridden-I-know-this-isn't-real-food-saucy-two-patties-with-three-buns-and-sugar-coated-french-fry kinda way, is HORRIBLE for you.

Then this teacher in Ohio decided to debunk this. His premise is that McDonald's (or any other fast food place) doesn't make us fat, but rather our choices make us fat. He did this as an experiment with his students. He and his students figured out how to eat at McDonald's for 2000 kcals a day and keep close to the recommended amount of nutrients (carbs, fats, & proteins -- although I fail to see how he would have gotten the recommended amounts of all minerals and vitamins given the limitation of what is offered). He lost 37 pounds in three months and lowered his cholesterol. He also added 45 minutes of walking a day (which is probably the more important behavioral change). The thing is, he would have lost weight had he limited his kcals to 2000 eating from ANYWHERE and exercised as he was quite a bit over weight and probably had better results, at least healthier results - as health isn't JUST about weight and cholesterol levels. My question is - could he maintain this and/or lose more weight if he continued this? What health concerns, if any, would appear if this was his daily regimen for the rest of the year?

I agree with his premise that we are about our choices (well I agree choices combined with genetics).  But what I hope is that people don't 'run' with this and decide McDonald's is a healthy way to eat.  There is no variety of fruits and vegetables -- yes they offer choices with fruits and vegetables, but you really need a VARIETY. Their lean meat choices are limited to grilled chicken. I do think, and have always thought, that once or twice a month, fast food places like this are okay to partake -- but not daily and CERTAINLY not three times a day.

My kids love fast food -- and why wouldn't they? It's so salty and sweet, it speaks to our very core of our neanderthal brain (salt and sweet kept us alive -- thank you dear ancestors). It is so difficult to temper their wishes with healthy choices and this experiment once the teen ears in my house heard it made for an interesting conversation that involved whining. (THIS they pay attention to, but not say ANYTHING ELSE NEWSWORTHY).

Our conclusion-edict-because-I'm-the-parent-that's-why finish to our conversation was that we will continue to only go to fast food during baseball/basketball/swim/karate tournament type days when we're running around like crazy and even then only a couple times a month. We'll pepper this with Subway/Chipotle/Teriyaki Joe/Garbanzo type places -- which are still fast but have healthier choices.

For instance today, I took Jake to the Orthodontist (one more visit and the braces are off...whoot) and he was going to miss lunch at school so I took him to lunch. He wanted Taco Bell (um, not only no, but hell no) and so I gave him the choice between Subway or Chipotle, he chose the latter.

I had, black beans, chicken, fajita veggies, the fresh tomato salsa, and a little cheese. Jake had a cheese and chicken quesadilla.

My choice totaled:
430 cals, 16g fat, 28g carbs, 48g of protein and 12g of fiber (I only ate half, so half this for me)
Jake's choice totaled:
(not as healthy + he finished my other half -- he's a 6'1" 14 year old boy, what he can eat astounds me especially because he's a stick -- ugh!)
580 kcals, 24g fat, 45g carbs, 2g fiber, 47g protein

If we had gone to McDonald's (oops, should have picked Taco Bell -- where he wanted to go) he would have had the Big Mac and fries
surprisingly the big mac had less calories and more fiber than the quesadilla, but higher in fat and lower in protein
550 kcals, 29g fat, 3 g fiber, 25g protein and 46g of carbs BUT then he would have gotten the fries too which would have added 500 kcals, 25g of fat, 63 carbs, 6g of protein and 6g of fiber -- that's over 1k in calories for one meal.

wow.

McDonald's nutritional info found here
Chipotle's nutritional info found here

What do I eat when we are out and about? Well let me tell you.

McDonald's
Grilled chicken sandwich, extra tomato, no mayo and I only eat half the chicken and 1/4 of the bun
I'll order the kids sliced apples with it
Wendy's
small chili, no cheese
Starbucks
feta, egg white, spinach wrap and eat half
Chipotle
no rice bowl with chicken, fajita veggies, black beans and cheese (eat half)
Teriyaki Joes
chicken, veggies, no rice and teriyaki sauce children's bowl
Subway
grilled chicken salad, eat half
Garbanzo's
falafel and hummus

We are a product of our choices (and our genetics) and it's important to feed our bodies the nutrients we need. AND we're busy people and sometimes fast food is something we need to do to get through the day.  I think it's good that this teacher brought to light there can be healthy choices.  I myself have been making those healthy choices.  However, it scares me that his excessive point-making will start a new McDonald's lose weight craze and he's going to be the new Jared (of Subway success).

By the way, what ever happened to Jared?

Vegan Lasagna

So I made Vegan Lasagna last night....

and...

Just NO

no

That's all.

Vegan Latkes

So I explained before we are having family visit who are Vegan and I'm more of a psuedo-paleo kinda gal.  So for dinner a couple nights ago I made Latkes - Vegan style for my guests and I put a big dollop of plain greek yogurt to give me that protein punch.  They were pretty darn good. I shall share the recipe -- I'm not even going to try and figure out the calories -- suffice it to say, this would be one of those comfort food meals.

4 russet potatoes, 4 small red potatoes, shredded
1 yellow onion chopped finely
salt and pepper
1.5 cups of potato starch
5 big matzoh crackers crushed

for the binder (because Vegans don't do anything with or from a face so I didn't use eggs)
6 tbs vegetable oil
6 tbs baking powder
6 tbs of warm water

Mix everything together
Make patties, thin

deep fry in vegetable oil until golden brown

place on paper towels or brown paper grocery bags.
Makes about thirty small latkes.

And they were freakin' yummy.

Yesterday we spent the day in Denver; it was unseasonably warm so it was a great day to do it -- you can see how on my other blog Zimmerhouse

Have a great day

Haven't broken a resolution yet

It's the morning of January 2nd and I'm happy to say I have not yet broken a resolution -- whoot. I'm all about celebrating the little things.

Of course, I slept most of yesterday since I worked New Year's night and got a total of 3 hours of sleep the 24 hours previous and was really really tired -- slept 'til 4 which was awesome.

To help me kick start the year I think I'm going to join in the weight loss boot camp at shrinking jeans. Come join me (along with some other bloggers and a big thanks to Linda for sharing!)

I was looking at my progress for the last year and while it wasn't what I wanted, it was still down.

• I started 2013 in the 230's and I'm 15+ pounds down from that -- this is not a bad thing
• I can shop in the regular stores - I even bought jeans, JEANS at Old Navy and they fit, not even snugly
• I don't feel people stare at me in horror
• I am okay with the way I look, I don't love the way I look, but I don't look at myself in horror
• I finally - four years after nursing school - have a job in a hospital (that whole we need nurses thing isn't really the case in the Denver area and it is really difficult to find hospital nursing jobs -- I've been working as a nurse but that hospital experience is necessary for my goals, so glad I finally got it and I'm loving it)
• Not only am I on the floor, I'm working nights and staying awake through the shift and have enough energy to care for my patients even in the 12th hour of my night shift
• I am back in school to get my teaching certification so I can teach nursing (one of my nursing goals -- my other is to eventually go into Hospice)

2013 has been good!
2014 will be good as well!

A cousin from DC is coming to visit today, she'll be here until Sunday.  She and her son are Vegan.  Gah! I'm more a relaxed version of Paleo.

HMMMMM.

I've got a lot of vegany snacks and I'll have my high protein snacks, but for dinners I'm planning:
Latkes (I'll enjoy mine with plain greek yogurt)
Vegan Lasagna -- it's made with a cashew cheese and soy cheese - so plenty of protein
Tofu Stir Fry

It was kind of fun looking for Vegan-high protein meals.  I've been kicking around the idea of going Vegan a couple days a week -- mostly to help Jason with his cholesterol issues - studies show a Vegan plan helps tremendously with high lipids.  But there's no way EVAH he'll go Vegan completely -- but a couple days a week would be a good compromise.

I'm scheduled to work tonight, but I asked to get called off if they don't have enough patients -- snow is pretty melted and it'll be 51 today - so no ice issues to cause accidents. The New Year's Revelers are back at work and not being stupid any more. So pray the skiers don't hit any trees, no car accidents and people aren't riding their horses and falling off so that I don't have to go in and I can visit with my out of town vegan family.

2014 - whoot and where the H-E double toothpicks did 2013 go

Wow, I haven't been on here since October -- very very bad blogger. I have to say, I have not done well. It's been quite an adjustment working nights and trying to figure out my food with this new crazy work schedule. And of course there's the whole holiday season thing and it's a much different animal one and a half years from surgery than six months from surgery and that animal was a chunky-monkey-chocolate-loving-cheeto-chompin' critter who couldn't keep her digits out of the cookie jar.

I'm not going to lament over the damage I've done.
The damage is a total of 9 pounds from my absolute lowest and 6 pounds up from where I've been hovering.

I've done worse.

And all in all I'm still happy with the success I've accomplished with weight loss.

And I looked pretty good during various holiday celebrations

see

 This was at my husband's company Christmas party. I wore a sweater dress -- I never thought I'd be able to do the whole sweater dress thing so it was nice to be able to. I wore it with black tights and boots -- yay boots. Had to buy the wide calf ones, but still felt really good to be wearing a pretty trendy hip outfit and look halfway decent. It had been a year since I've seen a lot of his co-workers  and I got some nice compliments. For which I was embarrassed but enjoyed.

 Our at home Christmas eve party -- I was super tired, I worked five shifts in a row right before this party and then stayed up getting ready for this one. If you want to you can read about it on my family blog here

So this is what happens when you're married to someone with a wicked sense of humor who had a little too much egg-nog. I had no idea what he was doing (I too imbibed in spiked egg nog -- see nine pounds up above). What a rascal -- what can I say, I love him and since we're not going into politics, I'm good with posting this embarrassing picture on the internet (seriously, it's still 'cleaner' than a lot of selfies I've seen going around :D) -- we can safely assume, my husband is happy with the way I've been looking lately (snicker).

So what is 2014 to bring?
My ultimate goal -- is to get through it alive. I'll be in school until July -- I can't remember if I mentioned it before, but I'm going back for a post-master's educational certificate. That with working nights, playing chauffeur and managing the household (not to mention a date night or two) I think getting through 2014 alive is an appropriate goal....

As for weight loss goals. I'd really like to get to my goal weight of 180 (36 pounds). To do that I need to go back to the basics.
1. Eat every 3-4 hours -- this one is difficult to do while working because I get in at 7pm and am so busy, I don't even sit down to chart until midnight, which is when I usually grab something to eat. Then I'm back up and running around and all of the sudden it's 730 am and time to go home.

how to help this one -- 1. eat snack on way to work. 2. be okay with a 5 hour lag of time and don't make it an excuse to graze on the ridiculously amount of candy that's lying around the unit. 3. use a protein drink as 'creamer' for my coffee. 4. Bring easy to eat protein snack to eat around 3-4 am.

2. Drink more water -- I've been totally sucking at this (see above). Keep water bottle on my WOW (that wheel around computer gizmo). Drink a glass of water right before I jump into bed.

3.RECORD MY FOOD (nuf' said)

4. Blog more. This probably doesn't sound like something people would put on a list of things to do to be successful in weight loss, but sharing my feelings seems to help. I attribute a lot of my success at the beginning of this journey to blogging. This also means, reading all of your blogs. Truly all of you are such inspirations.

5. STEP AWAY FROM THE REFINED CRAPOLA -- I'm not going to go all gluten-free, no sugar, never 'treat' myself to comfort food again. BUT I can make it a goal to refrain from doing that every five seconds.  Having something 'off-plan' three or four times a week is doable.

6. exercise -- ugh. I gotta do it. We all gotta do it. I feel better when I do do it. Why oh why do I not
just do it!

These are my goals. I think they're pretty realistic

So - stats:
at the beginning of 2014 I am at:
216
highest 320
lowest (since the surgery) 207
goal 180

Kay -- I'm gonna go catch up on all your blogs and see what your plans are for the new year!

yup I'm a baseball mom

My oldest is 14, 6 feet tall, and thin -- not really gawky thin, but athletic thin and muscular - he weighs about 140 pounds. He wears a men's large.

Sometimes the moms on the team will wear their sons' jerseys to the games -- it's really cute. But not something I could do -- especially a year ago.

Yesterday was the play-offs for Jake's fall-ball league (which, by the way, they lost after the first game, even though they were seated second -- which goes to show you, anything can happen in baseball). I was wearing a sweater and jeans -- but Jake really really wanted me to wear one of his jerseys -- like the other moms.

I couldn't quite get it buttoned, but I could get it on (I'm rockin' an extra large right now -- which means I got to do some shopping at Eddie Bauer, my fave store and walk past Lane Bryant, it felt good, it really did). And since Jake really wanted me to wear it --  I did

And sadly (or gladly?) my pants are on the big side -- which is too bad because I really like the cut, the feel and the color.  I need to buy more jeans now that capri weather is leaving us.

It was a happy moment -- not because of the clothes -- obviously -- it's not like I want to go around wearing baseball jerseys. It's about the smile on my son's face because I was wearing his jersey to his play-off game.  He couldn't express what it was about this that he liked -- but he liked it. I know because I got a couple extra hugs, even a snuggle out of him yesterday.

Guest Post/new blogger/and not much else

So it's been super stressful lots going on and will settle myself down shortly and share it all, or what's appropriate to share to the WWW -- but for now this person asked if she could do a guest post and I thought, why not -- interesting information (if you can say interesting about insurance) and helpful (hopefully). Anyhow, she seemed nice and I like to help :D

Here it is:

There are a lot of reasons why people don't bother with a health coverage plan - rising cost of premiums, limited coverage, and impracticality even. But whether you will need coverage often or rarely, the fact that you will be able to afford medical services if and when you need them is reason enough to at least think about getting one. Depending on your plan, your coverage may include doctors' visits, emergency medical expenses, medicines, and physicals. Having health insurance will not only help you meet your immediate healthcare needs but help you live a healthier life too. Premiums can be expensive, yes. But good thing some plans now are flexible and will let you choose only the services you need making your premium affordable and cost-effective. 

With different types of insurance plans available out there, choosing the right one for you can be confusing. Compare plans and get free information on popular insurance providers, their contact information, advantages and disadvantages, even discounts all in one place at http://www.myclaimsource.com.

Okay -- back to me:

One of our patients started a blog! She's doing great -- I can't really give more details because I don't want to violate any HIPPA laws -- but you can read for yourself! Click here and give her some love!

Perfect Strangers Comment on Food -- Weird

This week I took an ACLS class(Advanced Cardiovascular Life Support -- basically CPR with meds and a lot of adrenaline for the nurse -- sometimes the patient too). So I was with a bunch of people who I do not know.

Went to lunch with some of them and this is what ensued.

I ordered a black bean burger, no bun, with tomatoes and onion.

And THAT generated a conversation about my lunch.

1. Are you a vegetarian?
2. Are you gluten free?
3 What diet are you on?
4. Is that really going to be enough food?

WOW!

One girl, who really had a great curvy body, but realistically not within 'range' had a huge plate of beef, gravy and green beans, the other girl had a chicken veggie quesadilla - with a lot of cheese, she was a little thing and only 6 weeks post baby -- I kind of wanted to hate her but she was super smart, helpful, and nice (ICU nurse, they're the best and if I were younger, I'd aspire to get to the ICU).

After being all jealous that these beautiful women with beautiful bodies (in different ways) could eat whatever the heck they wanted to (they both professed to never exercise too -- life is freakin' unfair), I realized, they may have food issues.

Because I don't think what I ate was that weird in the land of the non-bariatric-surgical population.

Day two of the class, the teacher told us to bring snacks so we could power through and get out early.  I brought some turkey jerky and blueberries.

You would have thought I was trying to kill myself or something equally horrid.

This coming from the woman (again, cute little thing -- who was able to rock the purple and green streaks, even in her 40's - I could not do that) who brought convenience store coffee and hoho's for breakfast.

REALLY?

Confession

I have to confess. I love Big Macs. As a person who loves to cook, who loves complicated recipes, who enjoys 'good' food, and sometimes claims to be a 'foodie' this is hard to confess.

But I do.

I'm not sure Big Macs are even food really

and one is like a million calories

But they are goooood.

And I haven't had one in 15 months.

And realized a couple days ago, I don't even miss them.

That's all.

one habit changed - 50 million more to go....

So the boys are going camping this weekend (I don't camp -- a cabin is even iffy).  A weekend all to myself, sounds great right now, but just a couple weeks ago I was moping around because the boys were gone at camp for a week....

anyhoo, this time it's all three boys (Jason and the kiddos)

Jason used to travel all the time, it's been years since he has (thank gawd).  In the past when he left town I would order pizza, buy some chips and a ton of chocolate and feel horribly sorry for myself....I found myself thinking of doing the same thing today

What DID I do?

I bought some seafood salad and an avocado, (ate half an avocado with a spoonful of the salad) cut up some cucumbers, had a couple cherry tomatoes and a tbsp of blueberries. Perfect dinner.

and later...for a treat...I got some of the dark chocolate covered Acai berries (YUM).

And here's the thing....I'm not even feeling sorry for myself...
or feeling lonely.

It's a good feeling.

Have a great Friday!

(update -- the rain washed out the trail head so they are on their way home...we're going to go see a movie instead)

Quinoa Breakfast

So my friend turned me on to this breakfast -- way yummy and not bad in calories.

1/2 cup of cooked quinoa
1/2 tbsp coconut oil
1 packet of pure via
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup of mixed berries

Mix all together and serve. 194 cals, 4.4 g protein, 25.8 g carbs, & 8.9 g fat. 5g of fiber. To up the protein content add half a scoop of plain protein powder

 These portions are for my family -- but super pretty with the colorful fruit! The hubsters and the older child liked it, the younger one, not so much but then his favorite meal is mac and cheese so his culinary opinion is not that respected around here.

I made a bunch of these to take to work...or for the kids (well at least the kid that likes it) and the husband...good grab and go breakfast and I'm thinking of doing this during school so the family has some quick healthy choices.

Speaking of Panties...

How about that, I've used the word panties in two titles in a row -- and even more strange -- I've now blogged three days in a row. Wow.

I amaze myself.

smiley face insert here

so back to speaking of panties I've had to buy some new ones.  I went with the old ones as long as I possibly could but it got to the point that they needed to go so I bought a whole bunch of new ones that fit. But there are a few stragglers and I happened to put a pair on the other day and they were like half way up my back. Of course I didn't take them off, I still wore them.

Rolling my eyes at myself right now.

I'm not what you'd call a glam girl. I'm not even really a tom boy either. I like looking at clothes, I like helping my friends pick out nice clothes, I like looking around at stores, and "pinning"  outfits. I actually have a good eye.

But when it comes to me and dressing myself...I am at a loss.

It's not that I don't care.

It's a little lazy, a little rebellion, a little unsure what to do, a little not sure what size I am, and a little bit of feeling I don't deserve to look nice.

I had dinner with a friend the other night and she was telling me I should really start wearing clothes that fit better, that I could wear shorter skirts and more importantly not just that I should but I could (I'm still not quite sure). Another friend today mentioned she and I were the same size and I argued with her, she just seemed so much smaller than I am. A couple weeks ago the Nurse Practitioner at work told me I need to go shopping with friends to give me guidance on if my clothes fit or not.  I was wearing a silky white blouse and pants that I could take off without unbuttoning -- so yeah, they were a little big.

It does feel strange wearing clothes that fit, I've always felt more comfortable if I could hide in my clothes. I don't like the feeling of confinement and, frankly I'm a little afraid. I'm afraid of gaining the weight back, I'm afraid that I will never get to my goal weight, I'm afraid of being noticed.

I'm just a big ol' scaredy cat.

Any how -- it's one of those things I need to work on. So one of my other goals for year two post-surgery is to dress in a way that fits...including my underwear.

okay now that I'm seeing the picture it is a little baggie -- and I was thinking how cute and well it fit -- THIS was actually going to be proof I wear clothes that fit.

Okay -- work in progress.

Here are a couple outfits I've "pinned" that I would some day love to wear

I guess I could so wear the top and the bottom now...but that middle outfit..not sure if I'll ever get there -- not enough spanx in the world..

I totally love Pinterest. If you aren't already on -- get on and follow me: I'd put a nifty follow me button here but can't find the place on pinterest with the nifty pin button ...and for some reason when I copied and pasted my old follow me button it went to another pinner's page.

weird


oh and speaking of following there's a blogger from Downunder who is about to get a sleeve. She also has some super recipes on her blog. check her out and say 'hi'.

Have a gerat Saturday all.

Hold on to your panties -- I'm actually blogging again!

Well looky-here I'm blogging the very day after I blogged.  I have a confession. I haven't been doing that great.  I'm a year and two months out getting this wonderful tool that I paid beaucoup bucks for and I'm taking it for granted.

ugh

I need to get that fire back!

A couple weeks ago I got down to 208 -- 208! most people would cringe but when your highest was 320  -- 208 feels great. It's not my goal though and I've been grazing, eating in front of the TV, and choosing jalapeno cheddar cheetos for meals.

ooooh so bad.

and a couple days ago I got back up to 212.

YIKES

Today I'm back down to 210 (phew)

I've been finding that now that I'm a year out when I lose weight 1. more slowly and 2. not as directly as before -- instead of just being a couple pounds down each week, I fluctuate between 3-4 pounds for a few weeks then boom I have a new 'range' with the lowest of my old range being the top of my new range.  Anyone else do this?

I'm not going to let this drive me crazy (I have plenty to drive me crazy -- and the term 'driving me crazy' implies I'm still sane and on my way to crazy -- when we all know I've pretty much arrived in crazyville already)

So goal weight? I talked to my doc (my actually doc, not the doc I work with -- who is awesome too, but I like to keep my life separate from my professional life) -- he asked what my goal weight was...my answer was: "do you want to know my actual goal weight, or do you want me to tell you what I think you want to hear"

and get this -- he said, "I could care less what you weigh, if you want to weigh what you do now, I'm good with that, you just need to be at a place where weight isn't getting in your way of not living your life"

WTH -- in my experiences with docs -- that is NOT the answer I expected.

So my goal weight is 180 -- I'm 5'7 (okay 5'6 and a half, but I round up) top of my optimal weight is like 150...at 180 would be 30 pounds overweight (overweight NOT obese whoot)...but whatever... when I was that weight (and upset about how fat I was and how I had to wear a size 12 wedding dress -- I so want to slap my 23 year old self) I felt good! so there it is, my goal is 180 -- that's 30 pounds -- sounds so much more doable than 140 pounds which is where I was 14 months ago! And my doc says I should lose that 30 pounds over the next year -- 7 pounds every three months.

I can do that!

Then he said, "you gotta be a good example for your patients now that you're a bariatric coordinator"

geeze! way to bring me back to the lectures I got from my parents since I was the oldest about being a good example for my siblings....

that's another therapy session.

I was talking to a friend last night about all this...we were talking about where we were before surgery and where we are now.  And I said, you know I had to pay for my surgery (around 20k OUCH) and I said, every time I look at a chip I should ask myself, "is this chip worth 20k?).

Of cours I had some M&Ms last night AFTER this conversation -- maybe it's not just chips I need to ask this question about.

My goals for this year two post surgery
7 pounds every three months
exercise
make good food choices
wear more make up and clothes that fit (I'll discuss this more in another post -- and this is for a friend of mine who gave me a lecture last night -- you know who you are)

Have a GREAT Friday everyone! I get to see my kids who have been in camp all week...so excited.

My idea of marketing -- is begging

Yeah, I know I have been HORRIBLE at blogging here. Work is crazy, life is crazy (how crazy is life? read about it here). Meanwhile I have been blogging for work here. I have to admit it's nice to blog for work, I feel like it's part of patient education which is one of the most favortist part of my position. I love talking to our patients about what to expect, how to take care of themselves and giving them encouragement.  The center's blog is an extension of that.  Our latest entry was about Mindful Eating. Have any of you thought of Mindful Eating? Our counselor talked about it at our support group and it makes so much sense. I think as over weight/obese people we sometimes feel like we aren't allowed to enjoy our food -- it's a guilty pleasure -- a lot of us (me included) call pictures of decadent desserts "food porn" porn....Mindful Eating gives us permission to enjoy our food, be in the presence of it and by doing so we end up eating less because we've used all our senses. So really more art than porn. Even before this subject came up I would notice our registered dietician would eat her lunch on a plate (a real one, not a paper one) in the kitchen.  I eat my lunch out of a baggie at my desk which is hardly a way to connect with food, enjoy it with my senses and get any kind of satisfaction. It can also be messy

Hmmmmm....

She's also got a great body and is super healthy.

Me, not so much.

Now, I know that's not the ONLY reason she looks the way she does, there's hard work and genetics involved -- but it's one of her tools.

I like how Mindful Eating helps establish a relationship with food, rather than trying to brush food under the rug and make it a dirty little secret.  We all need food, we should be allowed to enjoy it. If you want to read more about how it works...click here I also included other sites.

So, yeah, blogging for work = fun. Not blogging at home = big frowny-face.

We had a marketing meeting yesterday and I heard a lot of "Tracey needs to...." (ok, not a lot, maybe once or twice -- it's not really about me -- sigh, as much as I think it should be) -- so I said, "Tracey's a nurse, Tracey doesn't know much about marketing).  Looks like Tracey needs to get it together and figure out marketing really quickly.  I spent the wee hours of this morning trolling Facebook pages to "like" and now I'm going to try my version of marketing which is begging....please please like our center's FaceBook page. I do most of the updates and I post informative, inspirational and sometimes funny information so it won't be too painful to like us.

Okay -- August -- I will be better about blogging.

I promise...well sort of...

bariatric recipes - ground turkey tostadas

OH MY GOSH -- I SUCK at blogging...as an apology, here's a gift -- a recipe for tostadas. I even took the time to take a picture.

Serves 8
Pre-heat oven to 350
Spray a baking sheet with pam
Heat a can of vegetarian refried beans with some ro-tel tomatoes and then add
chopped zucchini (1), red pepper (1) and half a cup of diced onions to bean mixture and take off heat.
Layer on top of tostadas
Brown 1 lb ground turkey breast with taco seasoning
Layer on top of beans
Layer with 4 oz of shredded cheddar cheese
and top with 1 tbs of salsa

Bake for 15 minutes and serve
Calories for each tostada: 273
protein 20.9 g
Carbs 25.7 g
fat 9.4 g

I am a year out past my surgery -- more on that after my "official" one year appointment.

Hope ya'll are doing well!