ugh!

struggling...

I've gained even more weight. Was dismayed to see the scale creep (ok really freaking JUMP) up to 220...I'd been making steady progress down and whoosh.

My body betrays me in this one area.

My mind betrays me as well -- grazing, unthinkingly popping food into my mouth, not being continually present with my food choices.

It gets me down.

(frowny face)

I wonder if it's my wonky schedule.
Working nights is not good for our bodies
for our souls

my off time is spent carting kids around, trying to be the mom I need to be for them, being supportive, making sure they feel loved, making sure their bodies and souls are being fed -- in appropriate and loving holistic ways. Trying to be a loving wife (sex? what's that, who has time and when we do, our schedules are different)

my off time is spent trying to keep the house clean (total fail there, but not feeling horribly bad about that - there are more important things in life - am I right?  no one's died of some incurable bacterial infection -- yet). But I do like the order that comes with a clean organized house.

my off time is spent furthering my education so I can ultimately reach my goal of teaching nursing.  I know the night shift thing is temporary and a means to an end to reach my goal of teaching as is taking this time to make school work within my hectic schedule.

Even though I am doing this all for a particular goal, it still is so hard at times.

I'm completely overwhelmed.

so, ugh.