Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wednesday Weigh In

Starting Weight 320
Last Week's Weight 250
This Week's Weight 246

Not so small victory and I say it this way because I started out writing small victory...but really,should I sell myself short? No -- I am on the bottom half of the 200's. And that feels awesome.  I'm tired of feeling shameful about being happy about this weight. The thing is, I've lost 74 pounds and that's nothing to be shameful about.  I am trying to train myself that this in itself is an accomplishment and just because I haven't gotten to goal yet, doesn't mean I can't celebrate certain milestones on the way there.  So whoo freakin' hooo, I AM AT THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE 200'S.  I haven't been here in over 10 years.  My oldest was three, my youngest less than a year. I was 260 after his birth and I did Atkins and walked every day and lost about 12 or so pounds.  Then ate a cookie and it went down hill from there.  

This time?

I'm not going to do the drastic changing of eating. Yes I'm going to mostly stay low carb (it's what seems to work for me) but I am going to live life and for me that includes something sweet, something salty -- just in moderation.  

I haven't eaten on plan this week, but I'm not feeling too bad about it either because those moments aren't those day full of eating days. Yesterday (and my kcals show it :D) we celebrated boss's day with a lunch with the staff.  I went ahead and partook in the cream soup and had a slice of banana bread (because damn it, I make great banana bread--and even if I used low fat plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream, it's still loaded with kcals -- did I mention it's great banana bread?). And had a lovely time with the office staff and the principle and vice principle.  They are wonderful, dedicated, funny people and I'm blessed to work with such a great group. So not going to apologize for yesterday (or the day before). Instead, I know that today I'm going to be back on track. I know that yesterday I ate some food that is considered 'bad' but I did NOT overindulge (yay me), again, not going to feel shameful about it.

I so didn't want to log yesterday, but I didn't do as much damage as I thought so it really was good that I recorded it all. 

Shame is a terrible thing (not just shame about food, weight, eating choices -- but for whatever reason from our jacked-up childhoods).  For me, it makes me want to hide within myself, under layers and layers of fat. I become a non person, a person no one notices and therefore no one can know the 'real' me, the me unworthy of love.

But that's not me. I am worthy of love. We all are. We are all God's children (or insert religious preference here) and we are ALL worthy of love, no matter what size, color, jacked-up messages from child hood we may have about ourselves.

So here's to living a shameless life.  
It's so much freer than living in shame.
Rip those scarlet letters off!
I'm going to.

Here's how I did yesterday.  I really need to figure out how to get this to fit right on my blog...sheesh my computer skills are shameful (seriously I couldn't resist) 



Have a Great, shameless Wednesday!


  1. 4 lbs is awesome in a week! Great job! Its so hard for me to celebrate the losses but I think you are right its important too.

  2. it so is...because we work hard for those losses and those little losses during the way add up to the big losses :D I tell myself these things, but my inner voice is such a bitch sometimes :D

  3. What a great accomplishment to be under 250! congrats to you. You are doing an awesome job.

  4. WOW - 74 pounds down and on the lower side of the 200's? You're doing GREAT! So glad to see you taking the time to acknowledge the success you've had so far - even while acknowledging the journey continues - YAY YOU!!

  5. Way to go!!! What a are just going to keep being so successful. Never let shame get in the way!

  6. Congrats!! That is *my* next goal... the lower half of the 200's!! Celebrate it. You deserve to be proud of where you have gotten. :) :)

  7. You are doing terrific!!! I am so proud of you! I'm slowly by surely getting there too. I just need to work out! When everyone is sick, it's really hard! Keep up the good work. Much love to you!

  8. You are doing great! Four pounds is awesome!

    This: Then ate a cookie and it went down hill from there.

    Reminded me of "if you give a mouse a cookie...." Ah the trouble a cookie can cause....

  9. It's so hard to get away from that ideal of the "perfect" day or "perfect" week. We can't really ever achieve that, so why beat ourselves up about it? Sounds like you have a healthy plan for yourself!

  10. You started out about where I was in Dec. of 2009. I weighed 328, I had my doctor look it up a year or so later, in the midst of my journey DOWN the scale. I didn't own a scale! Who wants to know how much you weigh when you're that obese? Today I weighed 155--hitting my goal weight of 160 on April 15, 2011. Eighteen months of maintenance baby! IT CAN BE DONE. You are doing it! A 4 lb. loss in a week is amazing and you should be very very proud of those 70-some pounds you have already lost. Even though you're not where you want to be yet, you are getting there, one pound at a time, and even if not a lot of people notice the loss yet (it took a 100-lb. loss and a pair of jeans before people noticed I was losing), you know it's happening. You are returning to a world of normalcy, and believe me, it is so much better than you would think! NORMAL is GRAND!

  11. I had my VSG last week! I'm really encouraged by your blog. Shame is a big one, I talked about that today. Looking forward to watching your progress! :)