Starting Weight 320
Last Week's Weight 250
This Week's Weight 246
Not so small victory and I say it this way because I started out writing small victory...but really,should I sell myself short? No -- I am on the bottom half of the 200's. And that feels awesome. I'm tired of feeling shameful about being happy about this weight. The thing is, I've lost 74 pounds and that's nothing to be shameful about. I am trying to train myself that this in itself is an accomplishment and just because I haven't gotten to goal yet, doesn't mean I can't celebrate certain milestones on the way there. So whoo freakin' hooo, I AM AT THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE 200'S. I haven't been here in over 10 years. My oldest was three, my youngest less than a year. I was 260 after his birth and I did Atkins and walked every day and lost about 12 or so pounds. Then ate a cookie and it went down hill from there.
I'm not going to do the drastic changing of eating. Yes I'm going to mostly stay low carb (it's what seems to work for me) but I am going to live life and for me that includes something sweet, something salty -- just in moderation.
I haven't eaten on plan this week, but I'm not feeling too bad about it either because those moments aren't those day full of eating days. Yesterday (and my kcals show it :D) we celebrated boss's day with a lunch with the staff. I went ahead and partook in the cream soup and had a slice of banana bread (because damn it, I make great banana bread--and even if I used low fat plain greek yogurt instead of sour cream, it's still loaded with kcals -- did I mention it's great banana bread?). And had a lovely time with the office staff and the principle and vice principle. They are wonderful, dedicated, funny people and I'm blessed to work with such a great group. So not going to apologize for yesterday (or the day before). Instead, I know that today I'm going to be back on track. I know that yesterday I ate some food that is considered 'bad' but I did NOT overindulge (yay me), again, not going to feel shameful about it.
I so didn't want to log yesterday, but I didn't do as much damage as I thought so it really was good that I recorded it all.
Shame is a terrible thing (not just shame about food, weight, eating choices -- but for whatever reason from our jacked-up childhoods). For me, it makes me want to hide within myself, under layers and layers of fat. I become a non person, a person no one notices and therefore no one can know the 'real' me, the me unworthy of love.
But that's not me. I am worthy of love. We all are. We are all God's children (or insert religious preference here) and we are ALL worthy of love, no matter what size, color, jacked-up messages from child hood we may have about ourselves.
So here's to living a shameless life.
It's so much freer than living in shame.
Rip those scarlet letters off!
I'm going to.
Here's how I did yesterday. I really need to figure out how to get this to fit right on my blog...sheesh my computer skills are shameful (seriously I couldn't resist)