Hold on to your panties -- I'm actually blogging again!

Well looky-here I'm blogging the very day after I blogged.  I have a confession. I haven't been doing that great.  I'm a year and two months out getting this wonderful tool that I paid beaucoup bucks for and I'm taking it for granted.

ugh

I need to get that fire back!

A couple weeks ago I got down to 208 -- 208! most people would cringe but when your highest was 320  -- 208 feels great. It's not my goal though and I've been grazing, eating in front of the TV, and choosing jalapeno cheddar cheetos for meals.

ooooh so bad.

and a couple days ago I got back up to 212.

YIKES

Today I'm back down to 210 (phew)

I've been finding that now that I'm a year out when I lose weight 1. more slowly and 2. not as directly as before -- instead of just being a couple pounds down each week, I fluctuate between 3-4 pounds for a few weeks then boom I have a new 'range' with the lowest of my old range being the top of my new range.  Anyone else do this?

I'm not going to let this drive me crazy (I have plenty to drive me crazy -- and the term 'driving me crazy' implies I'm still sane and on my way to crazy -- when we all know I've pretty much arrived in crazyville already)

So goal weight? I talked to my doc (my actually doc, not the doc I work with -- who is awesome too, but I like to keep my life separate from my professional life) -- he asked what my goal weight was...my answer was: "do you want to know my actual goal weight, or do you want me to tell you what I think you want to hear"

and get this -- he said, "I could care less what you weigh, if you want to weigh what you do now, I'm good with that, you just need to be at a place where weight isn't getting in your way of not living your life"

WTH -- in my experiences with docs -- that is NOT the answer I expected.

So my goal weight is 180 -- I'm 5'7 (okay 5'6 and a half, but I round up) top of my optimal weight is like 150...at 180 would be 30 pounds overweight (overweight NOT obese whoot)...but whatever... when I was that weight (and upset about how fat I was and how I had to wear a size 12 wedding dress -- I so want to slap my 23 year old self) I felt good! so there it is, my goal is 180 -- that's 30 pounds -- sounds so much more doable than 140 pounds which is where I was 14 months ago! And my doc says I should lose that 30 pounds over the next year -- 7 pounds every three months.

I can do that!

Then he said, "you gotta be a good example for your patients now that you're a bariatric coordinator"

geeze! way to bring me back to the lectures I got from my parents since I was the oldest about being a good example for my siblings....

that's another therapy session.

I was talking to a friend last night about all this...we were talking about where we were before surgery and where we are now.  And I said, you know I had to pay for my surgery (around 20k OUCH) and I said, every time I look at a chip I should ask myself, "is this chip worth 20k?).

Of cours I had some M&Ms last night AFTER this conversation -- maybe it's not just chips I need to ask this question about.

My goals for this year two post surgery
7 pounds every three months
exercise
make good food choices
wear more make up and clothes that fit (I'll discuss this more in another post -- and this is for a friend of mine who gave me a lecture last night -- you know who you are)

Have a GREAT Friday everyone! I get to see my kids who have been in camp all week...so excited.