Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I'm a nurse, so this may gross you non nurse people out

Starting weight: 318
Today's weight 304
Had my one week appointment today, all went well. I'm totally off of blood pressure medication (how cool is that!). I'm feeling pretty good considering I went through a pretty major surgery last week. I haven't needed any oxy since Sunday and I only take tylenol at night and maybe once during the day, and only 500 mg, I don't even double up.  I can't wait though 'til I feel less tired.  They didn't have to pull my drain today (my doc likes the drain in for a week) because I pulled it myself last went a bit like this:

So the stitches holding my 'drain' came loose (maybe because I decided to reorganize the linen closet) and the drain started coming out. So I called the MD office and the nurse there said I could always pull it......I could have taped it all back in place but it was really bugging me, so good news. I waited 'til Jason came home...because he loves all things medical like that, (NOT). And I said, "look, I don't need any help, I just need you to be here in case I pass out" 
so I start pulling....Jason is freaking out...."how long is that thing"
me: "I don't know"
He sits on edge of bathtub "I think I'm going to be sick"
I'm still pulling, "wow, it's not giving, I hope it's not stuck on an organ or anything"
Jason, "OMG OMG"
Me, "Oh it was just the angle"
Jason, "I think I'm going to pass out" head in hands

Me "wow"
Jason "what what what"

Me "there's like a foot that was wider then the the actual tube with all these holes in it, like a filter..hmmm who knew"
Jason jumping up and down..."what the hell tracey, I can't believe you just did that!"

me, "no big deal, but could you get me some more sterile gauze"
Jason "oh yeah"

Jason "hey these are made in china"
Me "great, I'll probably get lead poisoning"
Jason, "don't worry they were sterilized in the US"

Me "looking at the JP drain that was in my abdomen "how cool is that, it must increase the surface area so it can catch more fluid"
Jason "I'm going to throw up, I have to lie down"
Me "you do know this all happened to me right?"
Jason "no, no, it's really all about me right now"

Me, "you're never going to have sex with me again are you"
Jason, "it'll be awhile"


  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! My mom is a nurse, and I am completely icked out by blood/bodily functions of any kind - she likes to gross me out just by saying "bowel care"...ewwwwwww! I'm glad it's not bugging you anymore, but gross!

  2. Awesome post! That is hillarious. I would be like you... even though I am not a nurse, I still think that kind of stuff is cool.

  3. That's hilarious. Thanks for sharing that! I was amazed at how long that tube was! Fortunately, they took mine out before I left the hospital.

    Glad you're doing well. You're gonna be soooo happy as the pounds just melt away!!!!! I know I am!

  4. lol that is too funny. My husband freaked out just when I asked him to feel my port... lol

  5. HA HA HA!! I'm an old nurse, and I love stuff like that too (the only thing that squicked me out was sweaty old-man bald heads - go figure?!?)

    You're doing great!!

  6. Too funny! That's my hubby and I...only in reverse. I get light-headed at the thought of anything like that and he is completely facinated. FYI - when I was in labor and had my epidural the nurse told him he might want to leave the room...instead, he was leaning around me to get a better look at what what going on...what a freak!

  7. lol - thanks for the laugh. :) Glad you are doing ok. :)

  8. lol!!! great play by play! Glad you are doing better!

  9. I'm totally laughing - and I'm Team Jason on this one!!

  10. awesome had me LOL I had to call my wife who is a nurse she so thought this was awesome

  11. Hilarious!! I needed a laugh today! :)