100.100 DOWN-- ONE HUNDRED! 100

It's official, I'm 100 pounds down. I know it's not my official weigh-in date and my last post was all about hoping I'd get there in two weeks, not two days....BUT I had a stomach virus and poof, I'm now 100 down.

Well at least my goal of losing 100 pounds....now my next goal -- being under 200 pounds (that's only 20, well actually 19 more pounds to go)

 Updated progress pictures in my pictures tab...up there....at the top of the page.

Since it was a stomach virus, I'm not sure the weight loss will last....but, I'm celebrating and taking pictures none-the-less.  Here's me in jeans and a t-shirt...Jeans and a t-shirt....who would have thunk?

Oh, and I'm feeling better :D

Have a wonderful weekend everyone!

Wednesday Weigh In

Starting Weight: 320
Last Recorded Weight 226
Today's Weight 224
Last two weeks, lost 2 lbs
Total weight loss, 96 lbs

Oh my gosh, so close! I think if I kicked it up a notch I could be down 100 pounds in a couple of weeks.  Right now I'm averaging a pound a week, which is respectable, but that's me doing this without much effort....It's been a kind of ongoing theme, me not putting serious effort into my weight loss...I need to get it together and put myself back into serious weight loss mode.

Here's the thing, I know this is a tool, not one of those easy fixes.  It would be nice if I could wake up a perfect weight, nicely toned and be able to eat whatever I want and not exercise.

But that's not who I am. I need to work at it.
I need to work hard for it.

It'll be just that much sweeter when I'm all done.

Have a great Wednesday. 

Wednesday Weigh In

Starting Weight: 320
Last Recorded Weight 227
Today's Weight 226
lost 1 pound this past week
down 94 pounds total

Holy cow (this saying takes on new meaning after my husband's trip to India), when you write 94 pounds lost or say it out loud, it's crazy talk...I'm so close to losing 100 (I'm not even going to think about how much I still need to lose though and concentrate on this really big win...94...wow...yay me).

And even more exciting news...I GOT THE JOB...I'll be the new bariatric clinical coordinator for a local hospital.  Whoo hoo. I think I'll do a good job having had this experience. I'm excited to help people through this journey.  But I'm not totally altruistic. Surrounding myself with people who are in this journey and with those who help people in this journey will help me keep on track as well. It's why reading all your blogs help me so much as does sharing my experiences with you.

It was hard telling my bosses and the other staff I was going and I'll be super busy getting my clinic in order for another nurse to take over.  I did give myself a week between jobs to decompress. 

The behavior modification class last night was great..will share my insights later. Loved all of your comments from last week and they were all so helpful!

Have a great Wednesday every one!

Wednesday Weigh In & Behavioral Modification Class

Starting Weight: 320
Last Recorded Weight 228
Today's Weight 227

Well it's going down.  Whoo sort of hoo. 

Here's the deal, I'm not as strict with myself and I'm not following the plan to the letter.  Actually hardly at all. I'm falling into that habit of anesthetizing myself with food in the couple of hours after work and making dinner.  I tell myself I just need a little time to unwind, but what I really want to do is just go numb.

My sister is an alcoholic and she is once again on a drinking binge....like found miles from where she was supposed to be walking the street in a delirium with only her coat on (and nothing else). Thank goodness it was a warm day.  Her blood alcohol was .3 -- that could kill you.  I yelled at her and she's not speaking to me now.  I've been bailing her out and trying to help her for 20 years now and I'm kind of done.  I am okay with that decision, but am also feeling horribly guilty, like I'm a bad sister.  She's obviously is in so much pain and I feel really selfish choosing my own sanity and trying to preserve the lifestyle I've put into place for my immediate family.  Is giving up showing my children strength, knowing when to let go? Or am I showing them that you give up on family....I know I'll hear opinions on both....I think this is something anyone in this situation may struggle with....I'm just putting it out there to share my struggle not to really get answers, because frankly are there any real answers out there?  It's a moot point what I am willing to do anyhow since she stopped talking to me.

I still haven't heard back from either interview I had last week.

Picture a cat with its hair raised clawing the ceiling...that's me right now about this job thing...

I.Just.Want.To.Know.NOW

My husband says I have a patience problem.

Sooooo, this has spurred me into taking a behavioral modification class offered by a therapist who works closely with the surgeon who did my surgery.

I really liked her.  If I could get my family to go to therapy, I'd suggest her (because it's obvious I don't need therapy and they all do - insert sarcastic tone here)

The other members of the group also seem to be lovely ladies.

A couple of things I took from last night's session were:
1. Making a mistake is not the end of the world.  No matter where you are, you can YOU CAN pick yourself back up and get back on track (for me that might be recommitting to that like every 5 minutes -- just sayin' it's not been great for me lately)
2. It doesn't always matter why you do it...even if you know why you're doing what your doing...you still might do it. It's important to put things into place to replace eating and this takes time because frankly eating works as a soothing mechanism.  Not only does it taste good, your sympathetic nervous system calms down while it's digesting.  Another interesting thing to note...when people eat refined, high carb, high fat, high salt foods the brain lights up in the same areas it does when a heroin addict does heroin.

For a brief second, when I heard that, I thought...'hmm, where can I score heroin, because at least those guys are skinny" Nooo, not really, anything I have to shoot up or snort is just off limits to me, because even though I'm a nurse -- gross!

Although this seems really discouraging, the point was to find other things to occupy your thoughts, your hands, your mouth.

Our homework is to 1. figure out times, triggers, identify feelings when you start to eat off-plan and 2. Come up with a plan to do something in place of eating mindlessly.

Who wants to help me with my homework?  Have any of you found something that works for you? When you're feeling stressed and want to eat do you have something that you do that helps you to get through that moment? I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Recipe - individual ham egg cups

I have my interviews today, I'm super nervous. Think good thoughts for me :D.

This is not my recipe, I didn't even really doctor them up or change them much. I did use 8 eggs for a dozen 'cups' and used low sodium ham. I substituted skim milk for cream. Other than that I followed this blogger's recipe. These are my pictures though....I highly recommend them, they were super yummy, super easy and a great 'grab and go' high protein breakfast.

1. Spray the muffin pans with some PAM.

2. 'Cup' the ham into the muffin tins.

3. Place about a tbsp of shredded cheese at the bottom

 4. Saute some veggies, I had some yellow onion and yellow pepper on hand.

 5. Add it to the ham cup

 6. Whip about 8 eggs and some milk together

7. pour into ham cups

 8. Bake at 350 for about 20-25 minutes

9. Enjoy -- or put into tupperware to enjoy during the week

 To reheat, place on microwave safe plate and nuke about 20-30 seconds.

To read the actual recipe, go here to Menu Musings She has some really nice variations of this recipe and a lot of others too.

Here is the nutritional info (not bad)

Calories: 116

Fat: 6.7

Saturated Fat: 2.3

Cholesterol 134

Sodium 335

Carbs 3.6

Fiber 0.2

Sugars 0.7

Protein 10.7

ENJOY

Wednesday Weigh In

Starting Weight: 320
Last Recorded Weight 230
Today's Weight 228


Back down to my lowest...yay.

So.....I chopped it all off.  I couldn't decide what to do so I just said, "No red, different, perky and happy" and let her perform her creative genius and interpret that the way she wanted.

And...I wasn't disappointed.  

My kiddos are home sick so I've been home too.  Poor little dudes.  The 10 year old was crying and whimpering about 2 this morning so I got up to give him some more Advil.  I crawled into his bed with him and cuddled him back asleep.  He was burning up and breathing quickly, and my random, oh so motherly thought was, "This is it, he is going to be patient zero in the zombie apocalypse"   

I don't do 2 in the morning very well...the 13 year old was up and down the night before, so I'm on two days without sleep.

So the NUT who facilitated the 6 month class talked to us about doing a Burpee Challenge.  A Burpee is a "pushup on crack" you can read about it here.  I tried one and just getting from the squatting position to the push up position nearly killed me. I think it might take me a couple of weeks to do just one. But I'm thinking of doing it.  I loved the C25K....but never finished it because it got cold and I'm a big baby. This I can do inside. So by the time I get this done it'll have warmed up enough to start the C25K again.

Have a happy Wednesday everyone.

and my cholesterol is up? WHAAT?

So it's really been over six months, but this is when I could get into the MD office for my check up....and guess what.... my cholesterol is high.

What?

Yup, I have never, ever had a cholesterol issue and given my weight and having PCOS this was a surprising but great thing (genetics actually working for me here).

Then I have this surgery, and yay I'm off my blood pressure meds...and I've lost weight - 90 pounds, double yay...but...and you are about to read this correctly...my cholesterol went up...up to the point that it's out of range...LDLs went from 73 to 112. It's not critical. It's not even an earth shattering thing.  The Med Assistant at my primary just called and gave me that arbitrary, exercise more and lose weight and it should come down.....and when I said, 'but doesn't it seem weird that I've just lost 90 pounds and it went UP" I got a "hmmm - well at this point just exercise more" -- thankfully we don't have video phones otherwise she'd have been privy to my eye rolling.

Have you ever heard such a thing --- I mean about the cholesterol, not the non-helpful conversation with the MA at the MD office...pretty sure you all have had that experience (sadly).

Neither did the nurse at the Bariatric Center.

I mean, she has never come across this. Never Ever.

At this point, it's a 'let's just see what happens at the year appointment blood work'

Which is fine. Who knows it could have just been a blip.

That's the thing about medicine. It's sometimes more of an art than it is a science.  Like art you need to have some rudimentary knowledge, but you also need to use a lot creativity and intuition.  The more I'm in the field, the less I know (that's a lot like parenting too) and the more I realize no one really knows KNOWS..you know?

But damn it, I want to know....

it's irritating.

So for now I wait....unless any of you have heard of this? Have you?....and if the person died, I don't want to hear about it.

The work front....so I got this recruiter call OUT.OF.THE.BLUE from my Linkedin profile.  And this is funny and a little depressing.  She asks me what my experience is (experience that is listed on said Linkedin profile) and then after I tell her, she says, "oh, we can't use you, you need your more recent experience to be in med-surge ---uh, you called ME, I did not solicit this position.  I don't even want to be a travel nurse in Texas...because I LIVE in Colorado. WTH.  And to add insult to injury, she also emailed me and then called again.  Because I love to hear I'm obsolete over and over for a job I don't want and didn't apply for.

Again, happy I don't have a video phone.  I'm very good at eye rolling during meaningless and stupid phone conversations.

I do actually have good news on the work front. I have two interviews set up for Thursday. One is a clinical coordinator position at....drum roll, and this is my FIRST choice....a Bariatric Center, minutes from my house (although a competitor of my own surgeon....a respected competitor). And the other interview is a clinical coordinator for a dialysis unit (which is my back ground before school nursing). Pros and Cons for both.

Think good thoughts for me on Thursday!

Have a great Tuesday everyone!